Humour to Relax - 1

1. Ant and elephant were travelling in their bike and car respectively. Both met with an accident. Ant escaped with minor injuries. Elephant is badly hurt. Ant went to elephant and said something. On hearing that, the elephant collapsed. What could it be?

Ant said, "Dont worry about the blood loss. I shall donate blood to you!!!". :)

2. Four ducks were walking though watery pond. These are all the statements:

Duck 1: I have 3 ducks following me.
Duck 2: I have 2 ducks following me.
Duck 3: I have 1 duck following me.
Duck 4: I have 3 ducks following me.??

How is that possible??

Its possible because the 4th duck has lied!!!

Then in another pond they made the following set of statements. But all the statements are true. How?

Duck 1: I have 3 ducks following me.
Duck 2: I have 3 ducks following me.
Duck 3: I have 3 ducks following me.
Duck 4: I have 3 ducks following me.

Because they are moving around the same place in a circle. :)

3. How will you lift an elephant with one hand?
It is easy. You cant find an elephant with one hand!!!

4. How can you make two elephants to sit in an auto rickshaw??
With much difficulty we can make. (Just for joke)

5. e^x and c (constant) are walking on the road. Suddenly e^x chuckles that in few second you will be destroyed (set to zero) as differentiation is coming.
(as dc/dx = 0 and d(e^x)/dx = x log e i.e. x). Suddenly c started laughing. The differentiation is with respect to y and not with respect to x. So both of us are gone. (dc/dy = 0 and d(e^x)/dy = 0 [partial differentiation].

Class room humours

Humour #1

Teacher - Ramu, if you add 10,24,45,67,89,76 what will come?
Ramu - Total will come teacher.
Teacher - ??!!

Humour #2

Teacher - What is 5 + 6?
Student - 10
Teacher - How is that possible?
Student - If I add it wrongly!
Teacher - **??!!??**

Humour #3

A teacher asks a student to copy a poem of Wordsworth on the black board. The student finishes it and sits in his place. Now she asks a student who wrote it? The naughty student replies - "Anita wrote it".

Humour #4

Lecturer - What do you call a person who keeps on speaking irrespective of others listening?
Student - A Lecturer!

Humour #5

Teacher - How old is your father?
Student - As old as I am.
Teacher - How is that possible?
Student - He became father only after I was born.

The same teacher while handling class for another group of students asked the same question.

Teacher - How old is your father? Dont tell me as old as you are.
Student - No teacher. He is as old as my elder sister is.
Teacher - ??!!

More to come....

Laws for Software Engineer

First Law:
Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or forwarding mails until and unless he is assigned work by manager.

Second Law:
The rate of change in the software quality is directly proportional to the payment received from client and the deadline time, and it takes place at the quick rate as and when deadline force is applied.

Third Law:
For every bug a software engineer fixes, there arises another bug.

Law of Conservation of Energy:
Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.